.
You Are a Hopeless Liberal if You: Actually Believe the Monkey Stories They Have Been Feeding You All These Years. Think the Oscars Are Politically Neutral. Believe the Millionaire Osama must Have Just Had a Rough Childhood. Keep a Straight Face When One of Those Television Shows Says the Earth is Millions of Years Old. Think the Colbert Report and the Daily News with Jon Stewart is Wholesome Family Entertainment. Think the Bible Allows For Evolution Theory. Think the Cambrian Explosion is a Minor Point Hardly Worth Mentioning. Don't Think it Odd That the Meteor Only Killed Dinosaurs and Birds With Teeth. Think it is All Right For Other Animals to Kill And Eat But Not the Human Animal. Think Fox News is the Only News Channel Worth Making Fun of. Think the 'Origin of Species' by Darwin actually explains the Origin of Species. Think the Only Real Difference Between Micro Evolution and Macro Evolution is One of Spelling. You Think Sadaam Just Needed a Good Talking to. Don't Know When the Plaster Ends and the Bone Begins When Assembling the Latest Dinosaur Exhibit. "Stupid Idiot" is Your Best Argument Against Conservatives. Get Your Best Ideas From David Letterman and Jay Leno. http://FireDavidLetterman.com Believe 'To Each His Own', Except When You Spot A Conservative. You Think That if We Just Let Terrorists Rule The World They Would Stop Being Terrorists. Actually Believe that 'Separation of Church and State' is in the Constitution. Actually Believe That The Bible Says: "And God Saw All That He Had Made and said, 'It Needs Millions of Years of Work." (Genesis 1:31) BJ Maxwell 08/29/2006 Copyright © Some Additions: Know there are no absolutes, except that Conservatives are absolutely wrong. Think That Jerry Springer is an educational show and also a great dancer. Cannot Understand why Your Liberal Views Aren't Working On Your Family OR Don't Think It Hypocritical To Be Liberal In Your World View but Conservative In The Upbringing Of Your Family. Were Tempted To Name Your First Child Gandhi Understand that Your Watch Needed a Designer and Builder But Think the Universe came about Through a Mere Explosion. Say There Is No Evidence For God But Cannot Say What Kind of Evidence Would Convince You of His existence. You Think That Hitler Just Needed a Good Talking To. Your Second Best Argument is to Read the First Paragraph of a Conservative Article and Then Say, 'So What Is Your Point' OR 'I Disagree.' Try to Save the Whales But Not the Unborn. Bj Maxwell 09/22/2006 Copyright © One Liners Sum Up Your View Of Conservatives While Using Numerous Oxymorons To Sum Up Your Own. Think That The Word 'Innocent' Is Only One Of Those Many Filler Words That Conservatives Use To Prove Their Point. Bj Maxwell 09/19/2008 10/28/2008 Copyright © Are You A Liberal Or An Enabler? You Condemn The Preemptive Doctrine Of Bush (First Strike) But Not The Preemptive Doctrine Of Abortionists. Part One: Part Deux:
Some Additions:
Know there are no absolutes, except that Conservatives are absolutely wrong.
Think That Jerry Springer is an educational show and also a great dancer.
Cannot Understand why Your Liberal Views Aren't Working On Your Family
OR
Don't Think It Hypocritical To Be Liberal In Your World View but Conservative In The Upbringing Of Your Family.
Were Tempted To Name Your First Child Gandhi
Understand that Your Watch Needed a Designer and Builder But Think the Universe came about Through a Mere Explosion.
Say There Is No Evidence For God But Cannot Say What Kind of Evidence Would Convince You of His existence.
You Think That Hitler Just Needed a Good Talking To.
Your Second Best Argument is to Read the First Paragraph of a Conservative Article and Then Say, 'So What Is Your Point' OR 'I Disagree.'
Try to Save the Whales But Not the Unborn.
Bj Maxwell
09/22/2006
Copyright ©
One Liners Sum Up Your View Of Conservatives While Using Numerous Oxymorons To Sum Up Your Own.
Think That The Word 'Innocent' Is Only One Of Those Many Filler Words That Conservatives Use To Prove Their Point.
09/19/2008
10/28/2008
Are You A Liberal Or An Enabler?
You Condemn The Preemptive Doctrine Of Bush (First Strike) But Not The Preemptive Doctrine Of Abortionists.
Part One:
Part Deux:
This Old CoffeeHouse
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