You Deserve A Nobel, Oscar, Emmy, Golden Calf Or Degenerate Award If:

Actor: Pretender, Hypocrite

1) Despite Acting In, Producing And/Or Directing Some Family Shows And Programs About Wholesome Family Values, Your Own Family Life Would Make A Good Natural Disaster Movie.

2) The World's Voracious Appetite For Entertainment Allows You To Be The Apostle Paul And C.S. Lewis And Then Hannibal The Cannibal. (Silence Of The Lambs-Christians)

3) You Lament The War As A Blunderous Mistake But Convincingly Pretend To Support The Soldiers Of That War.

4) You Can Speak With Authority On What And Who Is Best To Lead Our Country While Making People Forget That You Cannot Run Your Own Life. (Blind Leading the Blind)

5) You Can Make People Forget That Your Own Monkey Stories About Life Coming From Non Life While Going Eternally Backwards To An Alien For Every Effect, Sounds Much Sillier Than Believing That A Design Needs The Ultimate Designer And A Higher Power Can Make Something 'Good' In Six Days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtuByYoqS3c

6) You Pretend To Know How We Should Talk To Foreign Leaders But Don't Know How To Talk To Your Own Spouse Or Ex Spouses. (Romans 2:1ff)

7) You Pretend To Know What You're Talking About With  Political And Insulting Jabs, But It's Really A Desperate Act To Revive Your Pathetic Acting Career.

8) Your Ability To Play Such Diverse Roles, Comes From Having No Original Thoughts Upstairs. (Blank Tablet)

9) You Become A Multi Millionaire By Making Movies About Gun Toting Action Heroes Who Deal With Evil Villains, But Your Real World View Doesn't Allow You To Possess Guns Or Have An Absolute View Of What Is Good And What Is Evil.

10) You Pretend To Know How Political And Moral, Real World Decisions Should Be Made While Critiquing Others From Your Ivory Tower, But Have No Experience Doing So Yourself. (Obama, Obama, Obama)

11) You Put Out Oscar Winning Performances But 'You Can't Handle The Truth.'

12) You Play A Gay Person On Humpback Mountain But You Are Anything But Gay (Happy), In Your Real Life.

13) You're Such A Good Actor That You Have Even Fooled Yourself Into Believing That The Disparity Between Your Acting Career And Personal Life Just Shows Your Versatility.

14) You Play God In The Movies But Cannot Say Anything But 'Oh God!' When You Actually Meet Him.

15) You Are So Hollywood Minded That You Are No Heavenly Or Earthly Good.

16) You Think Playing A President In Your Fantasy World Qualifies You To Be President Or Critique Him.

17) Your Moral Relativity Allows You To Live A Double Life In Good Conscience.

18) You Pretend To Be A Bible Student Because You Have Seen 'The Ten Commandments' And The 'Last Temptation Of Christ'.

19) You Have Hired A Servant To Remind You Each Morning Who You Are For That Day.

20) Your 'Inconvenient Truth' Is Really An 'Inconsistent Truth.'

21) You Fake It Until You Make It Because You Thought It Was Scriptural.

22) Playing A 'Terminator' In The Movies Has Led To  Terminating All Intelligent Thought.

23) You Play An Angel On Television But People Don't Know That It Is A Fallen Angel.

24) You Accepted The Role In 'Touched By An Angel' Because You Mistakenly Thought It Was 'Touched By An Angle.'

25) You Became A Permanent Staffer At Fantasy Island Because Your Real Life Sucks.

26) Just Like The Chiluns Of Israel, You Give A Good Act When Moses/Heston Is Around, But When He's Out Of The Limelight You Present A Golden Calf To Those That Play The Most Heinous And Anti God Roles, In The Most Convincing Fashion.

Indiana Jones And The Golden Idol

27) You Play A Hero In Your Movies A Villain In Your Real World.

28) You Thought Bipolar Mania Was A Part Of The Job Description.

29) People Worship And Follow You Because You Have A P.H.D. In B.S.

30) You Got Your Own Show Or Awards Not Because Of Your Acting Or Showmanship But Because The Immoral Minority Wanted To Show Their Support For Your Degeneres Behaviour.

31) You Have Gone From Ostrasizing Those That Turned Communists In, To Supporting Those That Turn Conservatives And Christians In.

32) You're Such A Good Actor That You Even Believe The B.S. You're Promoting.

33) You Have No Preconditions And It Plays Out Like A Rotten B Movie. (Part One)

(Part Two)