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Take Your Kids To Branson And Save Them From Hell

Jesus and Paul Versus The Super Apostles
ALS Ice Bucket Challenge While House Is Burning
'Christ In You, The Hope Of Glory', To The Tune, 'Glory'
'The Manger Zone', To The Tune 'Danger Zone'
You Can See Clearly Now The Planks Are Gone
Isaiah 53 Explained: Mitch Glaser
'Sin Differently', To The Tune, 'Faithfully' By Journey
Nobody Loves Me Better But, ....Sing Along If Like Joel Osteen And Company
A Crown Of Gold, To The Tune Fields Of Gold
Jewish Counter Missionary Compares Messiah To Rooster
Breaking Then 'Loving The Broken' By Andy Cannon: Body Part Ministry To Silly Women (2 Tim. 3)
Table Of Contents:
The Devil Likes Hank Hannegraff
Word's Up By Rapper Cynthia, To The Tune 'Word Up'
Super Bowl
The WORD Conference
Jesus Christ Is Coming In Clouds: My Experiences At Christmas
Rocky Mountain Lie (Al Capone Ain't Such A Bad Guy)
MaxwellsHouse.Org Top Karaoke Parodies- Part Two
Jewish Wannabe: My Favorite Things
Sweet Lord Of Mine: Make A Joyful Noise With Bj
Little Billy Sings: It's A Bunch Of Bull To Me
The Outlaw: Sing Along With Little Billy
Burning Down Their House: Sing Along With Jumpin Jack Jr.
What A Wonderful God: Under His Rainbow...Sing Along With Little Cindy
Fiddling With 'Fiddler On The Roof.'
Expose Them With God's Light, And Talk To The Aminals
Jewish Counter Missionary: These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things
Does eating MEAT make one fat?
BoldFingers Meets 'Super-Apostle': Sing Along
Pastorized To The Tune, 'Too Shy'
God's Healthcare Together: Death Panels Already Exist
Before Judaism It Was Better: Sing Along
It's More Blessed To Give And Receive!
"If A Picture Paints A Thousand Words..."
Dad Knew That, 'This Is Family:' Sing Along
If The Plain Sense/P'shat Makes Sense, Don't Mince/Panache
You Might Be An Illegal Immigrant Or His/Her Enabler If :
Just Like Those Egyptians: The Ex. Files
Drier Ground Or Ye Are Gods?
There Ought To Be NO Mormons After
Special Ed: Sing With Little Billy
Plain Sense Indicator: Mormonism
Maxwell's House Spiritual Virus Checker
Preterists/Gnostics And 'The Man Down Under': Sing Along
The Apostasy: What Is It?
Maxwell's House: Goods For Your Desktop
Take Your Kids To Branson And Save Them From Hell
Isaiah 53: Explained By Mitch Glaser...My Critique
The Branson Experiment
I Am The Virus: Sing Along
Why Do It God's Way?, To The Tune 'I Did It My Way'
What's The Matter In Your Eye, You Cookie Cutting, Half Truth Wielding Wonder?
The Name: Sing Along....One Faith For All
Your 'Jesus' Is Simply Way Too Small (2 Cor. 11)
My 12 Hates Of Christ-Miss, To The Tune Of 12 Days Of Christmas
The Great Offending Gold Plaited Turds, Meet The Great Conformers In The Anals Of History
As Cain Slew His Brother To The Lord Yeshu, Columbo Suspects The Highly (H)Acidic Jews
He Will Stomp You From We Will Rock You
The Age Of Hilarious: Sing Along
That's Agape: Sing Along
You Aint Seen Someone Yet: Sing With Porky
We Didn't Pick The Choir, But Revived The Muslim Fire
You Deserve An Oscar, Golden Calf Or Degenerate Award Then Put Billions In Research, When...
Fruitcake Stew Number Two, For Hopeless Liberals And Fruitcakes Like George And The View:
Differences Between The Body Of Christ And Israel
Should We Major On The Minors, And Minor On The Majors?
What Happens When Christians Strain At Gnats, Swallow Camels, Embrace Shadows, Major On The Minors?
One: The Paradigm For All Things
Gave Our Breath Away/The Trinity And The Trichotomy Of Man In Song
Where Are You Located On This Chart?
The Answer Lies In, How This Story Begins: Avoiding The Fiddler On The Roof
My, My How The Whole Truth Divides!!
Nifty Ways They Replace Scripture: Sing Along
I Took The High Way: Sing Along
Bible Difficulties
I Wish They All Could Be Roman Catholic Girls: Sing Along With Papa Bj
Paper Lions, Doggy Doorways To The Tune, 'Paper Roses'
Prophecy And Mystery
The Spiritually Challenged Coming Full Circle
Very Superficial And He's Got Teddy Haggard's Smile
Professional Christian To The Tune American Woman
Had I Come Back Before, Sing Along
Ghost Writers In The Sky: Sing Along
'I Make It Rhyme' To The Tune 'I Walk The Line'
Total Recall Of You All: I.E. The Religious And Jewish Wannabes
Pretribber: Sing Along
The Divine Authorship Of The Old And New Testament
You're A Jewish Counter Missionary Or Enabler If You:
'Rightly Divided' Chart
Arguments Against The Trinity Trounced
Your Own Poison-All Jesus
Come As We Are Ministries
Publicans And DUMacrats Ask: What's This Hole In My Head?
Cynthia's Corner
Here's Some Great News My Friend
Undercover Christian
If Three Just Don't Agree, Then The Two Will Surely Do
Know When You're Done
The Eight Day Week And Keeping The Holi-Days Holy
The Departure: What Is It?
Group Think Or Whosoever Will Part 3
Jewish Wannabe:These Are A Few Of MY Favorite Things
Melchisedek Medley: Sing Along
How Many Times Is Christ Coming?
BOC Chart 2
B.O.C. 3
Children Of A Lesser Fraud: Should We Vote For The Lesser Of Two Evils?
The Replacement Killers
Are You Odd Because You're God's?
A Boy Named YESHU: Sing Along With J.C. (Not Jimmy Carter)
Jesus On Main Street/City Lights Coffeehouse
Maxwells House Photos
Circles Of Life
The Andy Man Can With Frank N Clown's Lurch And Its Unleashed Body Parts
Found Me My Baby Giver; Start Your Own Church
Under One Roof: Start a House Church
Let Her Be: Sing Along
HollowWood's HollowLujah's Shows They Never Knew Yah
Maxwell's House: Goods For Your Desktop
'All' Men Means Just Some Men If Of Calvin: Sing Along
My Pardon Party: Will You Come?
Tebow Knows/ Focus on the Family Or On God?
We'll Love You, If Like Us You Are: Sing Along
This Old CoffeeHouse
Behind All Those Doors At Miles Apart Ministries
Live And Let Christ: About Us
In Those Three Days, Christ Saved Me From The Fire
I Am Jesus, And I Right The Wrongs: Sing Along
Christians 'Roasting On An Open Fire': Sing With Little Billy
Simply Can't Change Your Chromosomes That Way
There Should Have Been A Warning, After: Sing Along
Twelve Angry Men (Jurors) And The Roar Of The Lion
Violence Of The Hams And The Preachers Of Another Jesus (2 Corinthians 11)
Really Hot As, Hell-Ooooooooo!!
Little Angel Cindy Knows, Do You Know?



Save Your Kids From Hell

Formerly 'Teach Your Children Well.' By Crosby, Stills And Nash

New Lyrics: Bj Maxwell

Thankyou Lord For This Gift

Feel Free To Post Unaltered Anywhere.


Links In Green

Try It Yourself First.

Hold Down The Shift Key, Click Here, Then Minimize To Sing New Lyrics With Music.

To Hear Billy Jack Click Here, Then Minimize To Sing New Lyrics Below.


New Lyrics:


You, All Need A Hand, Must Have God's Plan 'That You Can Live By.'

(La Bible)


Then Look Beyond Yourself, Because Your Past Was Just A Nice Try
(Philippians 3:12-16)


"Teach Your Children Well", Tell Them Bout Hell, How Not To Go There.

(Fire Fighting Satire)


And Don't Provoke To Wrath, Accept Their Path, When Bible Complies. (Ephesians 5:1-4)


If You Ever Ask Them Why, Don't Just Stare At Them And Sigh.


 Look At Them And Smile, Awhile "And Know They Love You."

 (Ephesians 5:1-4)

(1986) Nothing in Common


"And you, of' Younger Years, Of Blunder Years, Just Like Those Old Guys


But You Can Help Them With Prayers, To Seek The Truth Before They Meet Christ.


 "Teach Your Parents Well", Do All They Tell, Til You're A Wise Guy.  

"And Feed Them" On God's Dreams, The Ones He Picked, That All Should Go By.



If They Ever Ask You Why, You Should Tell Them, At Least Try

(1 Peter 3:15)



If They Diss You Just Say Bye, Bye And Know They Love You

(Luke 4:23-30; Matt. 10:11-15)

End Of Lyrics


New Lyrics By Bj Maxwell



"CHILDREN, obey your PARENTS IN THE LORD: for this is right. 2 HONOUR thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye FATHERS, PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO WRATH (Or Whoever Wears The Pants): but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 5:1-4)

Pressing on Toward the Goal

"NOT that I have already obtained all this, or HAVE ALREADY BEEN MADE PERFECT, but I PRESS ON to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I DO NOT CONSIDER MYSELF YET TO HAVE TAKEN HOLD OF IT. BUT ONE THING I DO: FORGETTING WHAT IS BEHIND AND STRAINING TOWARD WHAT IS AHEAD, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained." (Phil. 3:12-16)

"Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. 12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting. 13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. 15 I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town." (Matt. 10)
Our Branson Vacation

The Following Is Filled Full Of Links And Pictures And Further Explanations.

Our Pictures Are The Ones With Dates On Them, Some Of Them Can Be Clicked To Become Larger. Minimize And Let Them Load While You Look At The Rest.

If The Pictures On This Page Don't Work Well, Click The Link Entitled Photo Album And It Will Take You To All The Pictures In Their Full Glory.

Don't Forget To Use The Back Button, Upper Left To Get Back Here.

Every Christian Should Seriously Consider Going To Branson, Missouri. This Is One Of Those Best Kept Secrets.

Our Days Of Preparation:

Pack, Save And Research On The Internet:

Cynthia Found A Great Motel Right In The Center Of Branson.



Just Kidding, Down Below, Click For Bigger Picture.
Even The Management And The Cleaning Service Was Friendly.

Would Recommend Cobblestone Inn. It Was A Very Friendly And Quiet Place To Stay. 

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Our Motel/Cobblestone Inn

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Pool And Hot Tub:

Hot Tub Was Great After A Long Walk.

Pool Was Only Three Feet Deep And Cold.

Prior To The Vacation, Cynthia visited the Cobblestone Inn website and saw a picture of the pool and hot tub. The pool looked huge. Looks are deceiving. But, if you take a dip in the pool, then the hot tub is real nice and hot!

I Went Into The Pool Once. And 'If You Start Drowning Just Stand Up.'

She Also Found Some Car Rental Prices. She Did A Lot Of Study On It. We Opted For The Silver Bullet.


Mamma Maxwell Provided The Transportation For This Family Reunion.


Not Really, We Took Her New Silver Bullet To Branson.


The Maxwells Had A Great Time Together. It Was A Great Reunion.


Not That Many, Silly!!

The Photo Below Represents About Half Of The Maxwells.

We Were Able To Meet In Branson.

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This Trip Was Of God, A Small Family Reunion With Some Of The Maxwells And A Get Together Of Believers In Christ At The World View Conference.

Will Not Give Out The Other Maxwell's Names, But The Little One Learned How To Say, 'Say Cheese Billy'. She Is So Cute.

Would Like To Give A Really Deep Answer For Not Smiling Big, Like I Wont Smile Until Everyone Comes To Jesus, But When The Picture Taker Said, Say Cheese, I Would, Though Unable To Say Cheese For One Minute Prior To The Picture Actually Being Taken.

Also Who Wants To See A Photo Like This:

Also I Was Smiling Slightly But The Mustache Covers That.

For More About The Southern Maxwells Stay At Thousand Hills Click Here

Though Most Events Are Within A Walk From Our Motel, Branson Landing, A Hike In The Ozarks, Acrobats Of China, And The WorldView Conference Weren't Within Walking Distance.

So A Car Was Needed For That.

If One Saves About Seven Hundred Dollars They Can Have A Great Vacation In Branson.

I.M.H.O. This Beats Those Expensive Cruises That Are Over In Half The Time And Sink One Financially.

Just Like The Titanic Many Vacations Leave One Drowning In A Sea Of Debt, Not So With Branson.


We Spent Eleven Days On Our Vacation.

Cynthia is known as the "Thrift Queen" and for good reason. She always has a coupon on hand for just about everything.

The Shows And Buffets Are Quite Affordable.

Cynthia saved us anywhere between $1.00 to $6.00, using coupons that she thoughtfully cut, organized and had at the ready!

Look at it like this: $1.00 to $2.00 coupon used at a daily Buffet. That's a savings of between $11.00 to $22.00 for 11 days of good eating per person!

Then she also saved us between $2.00 to $6.00 on a Show Ticket! That's a savings of between $22.00 to $66.00 for 11 days of entertainment per person!

Buffets From $4.99 To $11.99, Depending On The Time Of Day You Go There. Beverages were extra.

Shows Average About Thirty Dollars Each, And Most Of Them Packed With Talent, Comedy, And Song.

Almost All Of Them Have A Christian Influence On Them.

Even The Taco Bell And The McDonalds Had Christian Music Playing On The Radio.

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bransonone 101.jpg



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At The Entrance Of The Branson Mall Parking Lot, There Is An Itenerant Street Preacher That Reads Scripture.

He Then Eats At The McDonalds There. So If You See Jake While Visiting Branson, Please Throw A Few Dollars His Way. Though He Doesn't Ask For Support He Appreciates It.

Very Patriotic City That Supports Our Soldiers.

At the Beginning Of The Twelve Irish Tenors, Spirit Of The Dance And During Clay Cooper They Showed Each Service Insignia With Its Song And Asked Veterans Of Each Branch To Stand, While The Rest Of The Audience Clapped And Sang.

At Twelve Irish Tenors And Spirit Of The Dance, Ma Stood For Dad Who Was In The Air Force.


It Was A Proud Moment.




Cynthia Stood With Bj For The Navy Tribute.


Anchors Aweigh...

We Need To Support Places Like Branson Rather Than Sin Cities Like Las Vegas.

What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas, And Should Be Repented Of, What Happens In Branson Should Be Shared With Everyone.

The Drive There And Back

Good Weather, Some Wind, Some Rain Coming Back Windmills (aka Wind Farms), In Kansas lots of picture perfect moments of God's creation, listening and singing along to great music that was packed and of CDs.

There Goes Dorothy.

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A Great Place To Have Wind Farms.

To Cut Down Time Travelled By Car Consider The New Airport That Will Take You Within Eight Miles Of Branson:

My Wife Informed Me That I Snored. This Was Probably Due To The Increased Walking And Partying That We Were Doing.

So Cynthia Got Some Ear Plugs To Deal With My Snoring.

The Very Next Evening While In Bed I Hear This Weird Sound Coming From Her Corner, And Lo To My Excitement, She Is Snoring. She Did This A Couple More Nights. I Was Happy To See That We Are Made For Each Other. My Motto Now Is, A Family That Snores Together Stays Together.


The Acrobats Of China

The Chinese Acrobats Were Amazing. Unfortunately This Show Was The Only One That Wasn't Packed. Maybe After Some Time They Will Be More Popular. These Acrobats Did Things That Are Just Hard To Describe.

The Twelve Irish Tenors

I Said Irish Tenors Not Irish Setters!!

Mom Left This First Show Saying That These Irish Tenors Made Her Melt. We Had Fun With That For Quite A While.

Ma, Was Greatly Impressed By This Show. Her Youthful Enthusiasm Returned.

Spirit Of The Dance

This Show Was A Little Ominous At First, With A Voice That Sounded More Like Satan, But It Did Lighten Up.

Prior To This Show There Was A Irish Dancing Show Called:

Lord Of The Dance.

We Do Know Who The Real Lord Of The Dance Is Here:

Branson Train

Cost: In The Twenties, With A Little Historical And Scenic Narrative From The Engineer And Ticket Guy.

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bransonone 025.jpg


Great Scenery, Had A Friendly Talk With A Couple On The Train.

White River Becomes Lake Tanneycomo:

Ma, Found Out That This Is Because Dams Were Put On White River Thus Creating A Lake. This Lake Was Called Lake Tanneycomo. 

People Come From All Over The United States.

Most People Are Very Friendly There.


World's Largest Toy Museum

Very Old Toys, History Of Branson....

Some Might Like This Some Might Not.

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Fun Park

GoKarts and Bumper Boats.

Bj Got Soaked By Mamma Maxwell In The Bumper Boats. I Think This Is Why Mamma Liked This Activity The Most Of The Fun Park.

Branson Mall


Even The Walmart Greeter In Branson Is Nice And Told Bj That Clay Cooper (Entertainer) Comes Into Walmart After His Show. In Fact, She Says, Many Branson Celebrities Come In There.

Though Clay's Theater Is Quite Snug, He, His Whole Family And Band Are Quite Talented In Their Musical Impersonations, And Provide A Wide Assortment Of Routines That Range From Irish Dancing, Comical Skits And Not To Forget, Songs To Christ, Sung Mostly By R.P. Harrell.

In Branson There Isn't The Great Chasm Between Entertainers/Educators And Entertained/Educated As There Are In Places Like Las Vegas And Hollywood.

Mamma Maxwell While Visiting The Maxwells From The South At Their Condo, Noted That The Pizza Delivery Man, Who Delivered Pizza To Them, Was One Of The Entertainers At The Mall There.

I Kind Of Think That She Had Just As Much Fun There As She Did At The Theatres.

Mike Walker:

His Site:

Band Site:

Great Musical And Vocal Impersonator, Also Has Own Songs And Voice, With A Wide Range Vocally.


Ma Got A Kiss On the Cheek From Mike After Buying One Of His CD's 

There Are Numerous Singing Groups That Rely On Donations And Sell Their CD's.

Good Idea Of Mixing Own Songs With Oldies Sung By Greats, Secular With Spiritual. These Musicians Get Their Audience Involved With Songs They Are Familiar With. Most Of Them Are Purdy Good At Their Imitations Of Musicians And Singers.

Ma, Frequented The Nearby Mall That Hosted Numerous Singers.

She Got Quite Enamored With Some Of The Musicians, And At One Point Said Shhh To Some People That Were Talking Too Loud While The Singing Was Going On.

Later On Someone Said Shh Back To Her, When Cynthia Told Her About It She Turned Around And Pretended To Head Back To Confront The Culprit. Cynthia Held Her Back While I Laughed.

This Is Something I'll Never Forget.

I Was Excited With How Involved Ma Got.

Branson Is A Musical Experience That Creatively Presents Itself In A Myriad Of Ways.

Mamma Maxwells' Experiences

Ma Rode The Ducks.

Not Those Kind Of Ducks. These Kind:

She Got To See Lake Tanneycomo And The Dam 'Beautiful Scenery', She Says.

"These Ducks Are A Modification Of The Ducks That Were Used In WWII To Land Troops On Shore."The DUKW (popularly pronounced "duck") is a six-wheel-drive amphibious truck that was designed byGeneral Motors Corporation during World War II for transporting goods and troops over land and water and for use approaching and crossing beaches in amphibious attacks."


The Ship I Did My Time On, In the Seventies,  Loaded And Launched These Ducks/DUKW's From The Stern/Backside.They Were Used To Get Marines To Shore.



Whether It Be Singers Or Comedians With Their Own Theatre, In A Mall, In Front Of One, At A Buffet, The Creative Ways Musicians Express Themselves Inspired Us.



Great Southern Atmosphere, And Fried Chicken And Much Much More.

Golden Corral:

The Most Diversity Of Food I Have Ever Seen. This Buffet Actually Has An Entertainer That Comes In Evenings And Plays.


Good, But Wasn't Too Impressed Here. When One Has Such A Buffet Of Buffets They Can Be Picky.

Grand Country Buffet:

This Is Up There With Golden Corral, And Their Breakfast Buffet Is Fantastic. It's Also Surrounded By Shops, Theatres, A Miniature Golf Course.

Walks After Buffets

This Is What Kept Us Healthy During Our Vacation. Thought I Would Have Suffered From All This Partying But Came Home In Healthier (Not Lighter) Than When I Left.

Walks: Apple Tree Mall, Dulcimer Shop, Billy Bobs DairyLand (great lemonade and malts), Sun Tan, Great Ideas For Making Crafts

The Craft Malls

To Give Cynthia And Bj Ideas And Inspiration For Projects When They Get Home.

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Mamma Maxwell And Her Sister Have Provided Some Freebies That They Are No Longer Using, For Our Craft Making At Home.

Went To Branson Mill And Took Pictures Of Luthiers Making Dulcimers And Other Items.

Cynthia Has Pictures Of The Crafts We Were Inspired By At The Toy Museum, The Branson Mill And The Apple Tree Mall Here.

World View Family Reunion

'Family Reunion' Was Included In The World View Theme This Year.

This Told Cynthia And I That Not Only Was This To Be A Reunion Of Maxwells But A Reunion Of Believers In Christ.

Speakers: David Reagan, Michael Youseff, Joel Rosenberg, Kay Arthur, And David Barton.

Our Conclusions Regarding Future World View Conferences:

Pick The Speakers You Like And Listen To Them Then Go Do Something Else When The Others Are Speaking.

The Conferences Are A Little Off Of The Beaten Path Of Branson.

Great Information From Reagan, Barton, Rosenberg And Youseff.

Great Messianic Singer Marty Goetz, Sings The Psalms And Often Began And Ended The Conference Each Day.

Bj's Encounter With David Reagan:


He Will Be At The Next World View Conference.

Actually The Formula He Uses Often BJ Has Slightly Modified To:

If The Plain Sense Makes Sense, Seek No Other Sense TO REPLACE IT, Lest You End Up With Nonsense.

More About That Here.

At The World View Conference In Branson Joel Rosenberg, A Completed Jew, Who Has Written Several Tom Clancy Like Novels, Based On Scripture Spoke Of The Chosen People. He In True Woody Allen Style Said, Hitler Chose The Jews And Mentioned Other Monsters That Have Chosen The Jews And Said, The Jews Now Say Choose Someone Else.

Our Anniversary

Yacht And Lake Tanneycomo (fun watching Cynthia taking pictures and having the time of her life):

This Was A Surreal Experience, Going Down Tanneycomo In A Yacht, While Being Served A Buffet And Listening To Music, While The Sun Was Going Down.

This Was A Great Experience We Will Never Forget. We Recommend This For Anyone Who Wants A Romantic And Memorable Experience With Their Spouse.

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Cynthia here, with an update!

To Visit an Earth History Museum that is truly Bible Based, please visit The Museum of Earth History in Eureka Springs, AR by clicking here.


Went Hiking On Our Second To Last Day.

We Saw A Dogwood, And Cynthia Took A Picture.


Do You Know The Legend Of The Dogwood?

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Hope You Enjoyed The Tour Of Branson.

Maxwells House, Good For Your Desktop.

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Please Visit Us Again.
Maxwells House, Good For Your Desktop